Philosi-angler, State of The Disillusioned Address

A Realist's Biography

I've been fishing since as long as I can remember, I honestly don't remember a time when fishing wasn't an all consuming part of my life. I used to wield a throw away camera (usually someone else's) and sneak my fishing photos only for them to develop them and see my smiling face holding up my trophy fish. From a young age I was focused on catching new fish, I remember my first white sucker I caught while bullhead fishing from a boat with my dad and how much I talked about it thereafter, unable to recapture another well into adulthood. The first time I caught a creek chub and the fervent desire to coerce my father into taking me back for more. Inevitably I found others on the internet who put word association to what I've done organically all my life, PBs (personal bests) and Lifelist (a photographic record of all your species). None of this was really new to me, its been part and parcel to my entire being.

Obviously we can't be in the woods constantly, so I used my keyboard angling skills to talk to other lunatics, fish new places, meet new people, read up and become knowledgeable of new species. The insanity started off slow, a trip to the great lakes, a trip to Canada, but what really set my fishing priorities into a new plane of existence was a self sustained trip to Florida for an all out all you could catch fish fest. That pretty much shattered the camels back, having grown up in the mountains of Northeast Pennsylvania with our "solid" repertoire of Chain Pickerel, Largemouth Bass, Chain Pickerel, Largemouth Bass, Walleye I became all but convinced that traveling to new places would solve all of fishing woes and it did, visiting the midwest, more florida, new york, dc, virginia filled my fish diversity void with new and exciting fish the average person doesn't even know to target. It became a perfect cocktail of everything I loved, new fish, traveling, planning and coordination, all strong suits of mine.

I quickly pivoted from the standard lifelister's desires pretty quickly, with all things in life, if you can bank roll it, fly to it, and charter it you can rule it and so lifelisting became...not fun for a bit at least. A little shuffling of the thoughts and I was back to my old indifferent and much welcomed ways. I do enjoy opportunistic microfishing from time to time and in high pressure areas, however I for one reason or another cannot embrace the full insanity of it all and set aside larger specimens for the opportunity to crank out numbers. For once in my life I became a moderate unable to take up the flag for one side or the other, something I usually have no problem doing in every other aspect of life.

I settled on the idea of "targets" like a big game hunter I'd widdle down lists of what I felt were fish I desired, Northern Snakehead, Pike Killifish, don't really have a lot in common aesthetically, but they are exactly the same to me, a means to an end, a hunt to look forward to, the thrill of built up anticipation followed by the chase. And so I rekindled my passion in a world dominated by the rich, the bitter, millennial generation of no kids. The internet can bring out the very elite the world has to offer and that could put a damper in just about anyone's confidence. 

I took the layout of what I wanted out of life and brought it into my world, made it real and a little more doable without bankrupting and shattering my personal life. And so it is not really a lifelister, although I do globetrot for species, not really a roughfisherman although I do sit on buckets without tents in the middle of a lake, not a charter fairy, although I do from time to time use charters, not someone who claims to be entirely self sufficient angler, or in lamens terms a hypocrite.

I'm just going fishing. At home, a far and every place in between. Some things I'll do by the skin of my teeth, some with coordinates from friends, some with the help of friends in person and some with the help of guides. But what I'm really doing is what I've always meant to do, have fun doing the one untainted thing the world has to offer, fishing.